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Do you need an EMOTIONAL evolution?

Are the challenges many of us face, MENTAL health problems? Perhaps we have been misguided. Not that I want to tell you what to do. No. Really. But consider this: when you feel anxious and depressed what’s in your way? You’ve been told it’s your MENTAL health. But isn’t the problem what you are feeling? Do feelings live in your head? 

When you can’t get out of bed, have lost a loved one, your wife has left you. What is it that is stopping you from feeling at ease? Admittedly your thoughts are not helping, but isn’t it your FEELINGS? What about when you can’t stop thinking about someone? When someone has done you wrong? Your anger is out of control or you think you don’t belong. Again you are thinking … but it’s your FEELINGS that make those thoughts unbearable.

What if we had it back to front?

I’ve heard experts say thoughts create feelings. Funny, I’ve rarely FELT that. With a perfect mindset you can lead a perfect life. True to some extent. If I am determined to control my mindset, which takes a LOT of effort, I minimise the emotional states that undermine my success. But is that natural? What if instead I start with my emotions? What if, with an emotional evolution, my mind would simply fall into peace, was able to focus and access its fullest potential from that peace. Effortlessly?

Our world has thrown SO many resources at mental health. But mental health is getting worse not better. More suicides, more depression. Almost every person you speak with identifies themselves as feeling anxious. Loneliness, heartache, confusion; less connection, peace and harmony. I’m left wondering, are we trying to ‘fix’ the wrong problem? Are we trying to resolve the consequences of not knowing how to FEEL, in response to what our life is dishing up?

Is it time for an EMOTIONAL evolution?

ME: Yes! Yes! Yes! 

YOU: Hmmm. What even IS an emotional evolution?

Here is my definition, refined from decades of real life experience – delving deep into my own emotional self and the emotional worlds of others. As an aside, you could probably call me an emotions geek, my kids do! It’s my jam and I totally believe our feelings have got a bum deal … been blamed for all that ails us and largely ignored, but I digress.

Emotional evolution, definition. A capacity to lean into every feeling of the moment as part of a divinely orchestrated emerging process that leads me to greater potential, harmony, peace and connection. Aka MORE love. Did you get that? I feel, so I can experience more love.

Through an emotional evolution a person comes to know their TRUE nature and live from that place. It allows access to AUTHENTIC power and therefore the ability to say what you feel in a way that creates ongoing harmony and connection (instead of repetitive and painful conflict). Relationships become a process of flourishing intimacy, love and safety, as opposed to repetitive loops and flatlining habits. Children respond to the state of cohesion naturally created by demonstrating better health, attitude and affection. Partners become curious co-adventurers, feel great to be around and are trustworthy – reflecting your own self-trust, self-belief and self-allegiance. You FEEL emotionally safe, clear and can communicate effectively, no longer resorting to rage or finding yourself blubbering uncoherently through tears. You have the opportunity to live beyond the emotional wound, discovering your relationships can be connected through expanding love, not fearful unconscious needs. This I believe, is living our natural way. Natural, not yet normal.

Imagine.. NOT being afraid of any feeling or emotion. Welcoming everything, trusting in the intelligence of your heart – which by the way is the vehicle for your emotional evolution. For many years humans have been told it’s a long way from the head to the heart. I never used to understand that. Humans, good humans, aspire to being heart-based, heart-driven, open hearted. They build businesses based on heart, talk about heart as if there’s a secret power through heart, that will benefit us all. Surely that’s heart?

The Truth about HEART, as I know it, is

Yes, it is powerful, transformative and has the potential to literally change the world. The reason, regardless of all the lip-service it’s been given, heart, pure unconditional love, hasn’t yet fully manifested in our relationships, is because Heart is a FEELING.

Herein lies the dilemma. You can tell yourself you are big hearted, and know all about heart. You can act from heart, which is wonderful and certainly helpful for our world. You are a good person and good people are needed. This is only a small part of the equation though. Through your actions you are demonstrating heart qualities. This is the mind choosing heart, not the BEING living as heart. It works, until your kid starts drilling a hole into your hallway wall, or your partner comes home late at night, drunk, or your best friend starts ignoring your calls.

What I’m suggesting would be helpful now, is to remember the way to live THROUGH heart. As one, with it. Here’s an option I’d invite you to consider.

What if just by BEing you, you lived as your heart, in peaceful flow – and as a result, your heart emanated a power that amplified your actions a billion fold? What if, you naturally accepted ALL of yourself – as a feeling, not a concept – how would that change the way you show up for yourself and others? This is emotional evolution. It requires you to be willing to feel every feeling and take responsibility for it. It requires you to see your patterns of behaviour, the places you are trying to control and hang on to and let them all go. Because while ever you are in a ‘dynamic’ of behaviour, you are not accessing your TRUE power – you are utilising the emotional power of others. It requires you to address emotional residual and transform it into wisdom. This may seem scary and unfamiliar, which is probably why so many humans have avoided going this extra mile for so long. I know, I’ve felt that too – but I’ve also felt the joy that arrives as a feeling sensation when I courageously face every moment, leaning in, with faith and trust in myself and the process unfolding around me.

Perhaps you need a little more convincing?

Could I suggest you watch yourself next time you feel. Do you have a feeling then jump into your head to think about what caused it? Try to analyse it, work with it? Do you have a feeling and blame someone else for it, or think it’s because of something that happened? Are you scared of what might happen if you let go and felt? Do you find yourself trying to hold it together? Turning away from an underlying ‘something’, that you sense is lurking within. If you can answer yes to any of these questions, you are a human ready for an emotional evolution. If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are also a human that may not yet have access to their full creative potential, a human that has a power dwelling in their heart, ready and waiting, to ignite.

My final question then can only be, are you ready for an emotional evolution?

Sending love, Lisa

LISA JAYNE is an Emotions and Relationship Specialist, Speaker and Author sharing the practical skills needed for emotionally evolving into a life founded on authentic power.

For more info, visit www.lisajayne.me or subscribe to her You tube channel @iamlisajayne

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