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Does your emotional operating system need upgrading?

Do you need to get out of your head and be in your heart more? Are you spending more time in the habitual ‘patterns’ of emotional friction in your relationships rather than feeling truly deep connection and warm, touchy feely, love?

If you answered YES to either or both of these, then maybe it’s time for an upgrade!

Imagine living inside a (metaphorical) house. This house was built for you pre birth and when you arrived within it, you have consistently tried to make it better … painted the walls, changed the curtains, bought new furniture. As you grew older you noticed some parts of the house weren’t working at all, so you got in builders to knock down walls and did some renos. But after decades, and all the work you’ve put in, you’re still essentially in the same house. You most probably feel incredibly frustrated. After all, you’ve done SO MUCH work on that house, you think, by now, the house should be different. Finished. 

And if this house is a metaphor for your emotional self, then you’d expect to be experiencing more love, connection and understanding in your relationships, instead of similar, ongoing patterns of friction. You SHOULD be in relationships that feel comforting and supportive. You SHOULD be able to express your innermost feelings feeling safe, knowing the love is given and that by sharing you actually get to feel closer to your partner. If you’re single, you may feel like even with your own best efforts, you won’t ever find the ‘right’ partner. You might feel like giving up the search – you know it’s impacting your self-esteem, but that nagging sense of loneliness and longing continues to compel you onwards. Just one more effort…

Imagine if you could flip yourself OUT of that ‘state’,

out of that metaphorical house, altogether. What?? I know, radical concept – but it’s not ‘new’. The system I use has been created from my knowledge, the application of ancient wisdom and the results of this application in today’s crazy world. People have done it before. My clients would tell you, they’re still perplexed at why they didn’t know there was another way to be in relationship. They’ve learnt to step outside of the house. Yes, it’s a practice to be able to stay outside, in the ultimate freedom. Like a muscle, self discipline is needed for making that flip easy, instantaneous… however, living outside is actually our natural way. It’s how we are designed to live. And it feels freaking awesome because it involves the activation of our hearts, which makes the love we feel constant … not conditional.

All of a sudden there’s no trying to make others be a certain way or do certain things … you can be present in your relationships. You’re not caving inwards under the expectations and pressures placed upon you by people you love. Because you are present in yourself. You show up for yourself, so you can speak authentically without reaction – there’s nothing at risk by you being TRUE to you. 

When your heart is activated, action builds connection.

It also means you feel empowered BEFORE you speak, act or even think. Can you imagine the outcomes you will get? Rather than acting from deficiency, lack and need (often feeling powerless), you’re acting from wholeness, acceptance and abundance. You can allow the power of life to bring to you an innovative solution, which has always lain waiting … but perhaps you couldn’t see it in the past because it was outside your house and you were busy looking for it inside your house, not knowing it was just outside the door.

The Sufi poet Rumi writes “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” I’d like to meet you there. In that field outside your house. Where your relationships have the chance to flourish freely, where magic happens and life flows naturally. This is not a woo woo concept, it’s not even hard to get to. It’s simply a matter of putting what you know aside and applying an alternative system to meet life’s challenges. Each time you have a feeling, you step outside the house first – you’ll start to see the beauty almost straight away. You’ve probably heard a thousand versions of ‘we get in our own way’. To me that means we haven’t yet fully activated our heart so we can’t see the door to freedom.

If you’re feeling inspired now, take that energy and use it.

Commit to turning your sight inwards first. Pay attention to your feelings, remind yourself ‘this is an opportunity to break a circuit and show up for myself’. Ask yourself in tricky moments, can I just BE with myself and allow the emerging process to unfold? Feel the feeling with curiosity, look for the patterns and themes that recur because you didn’t pay full, loving attention to your first feeling – that’s the feeling you want to catch and be aware of. That feeling, which may feel like ‘not enough’, ‘not seen’, ‘not heard’, you can do something about right now – because it’s calling to you, showing you where you have stayed in your house for too long. You don’t have to wait for anyone or anything else to turn up. Walk with it out into the field and sit with it lovingly, so it doesn’t need to keep trying to get your attention. Then after sitting in that love, notice how your head may have stopped and you feel calm. Only then, decide what actions you can take so you don’t put yourself in that position again. 

You’ve most probably got all the knowledge you’d need for 20 lifetimes if you’re on socials. Besides …if knowledge is what it takes, you’d be experiencing the life you dream of permanently. You could stop trying so hard. True freedom is not about learning more, it’s about activating the natural power of your heart and letting go, building trust in the emerging process of life and practicing the everyday skills that help you do just that. Flip into a new emotional operating system, so you can finally stop running your relationships from your head and enjoy the relief and connection that grows when you use your intuitive heart power. 

Go on… give it a go.

Use the feeling first, then act. Don’t listen to what the head tells you – instead use it to put your plans into action AFTER you feel the clarity and certainty of your inner being arise. If you don’t know, wait. Keep your attention on you (not others), love you (first), nurture you (so you can nurture others), fill your cup (so you are full and not needy). Start with the inside first, instead of looking to the outside for your solutions. Once you get the hang of it it’s a much more effective and easier way to live life!

Lisa x

Lisa Jayne is a Heart Activator showing women how to move into the ‘right’ place to attract and build ‘right’ relationships full of love and connection. Her signature “Heart Power Program”, provides a clear and simple blueprint for women to take back their heart power, use their intuition and speak from the clarity and love of their true selves. Lisa provides one on one coaching, ongoing programs, workshops and regularly speaks at events. She offers a free 30 minute collaboration call, so you can cocreate a path to ‘right’ relationship and you can schedule your session here. Follow her on Instagram

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