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How to attract the ‘right’ partner

What if right now is an opportunity for you to activate your heart and flip into the divine feminine within BEFORE you connect with another person in relationship?

You would be moving into being in the ‘right’ place to attract your ‘right’ partner. By being emotionally present in your own life (not busy searching outside yourself) you are connected to your true, authentic self – aligned with your higher purpose. You’re more able to comfortably rest in the flow of life, trusting the emerging process itself to bring you the very person who, in connecting deeply with you, is co-creating a higher consciousness of relationship. One that generates more love and harmony as time goes on, rather than more friction, repetitive cycles and hurt.  Imagine attracting (because that’s what you will do) a partner that is so ‘right’, there’s no second guessing, no deliberation, no justification – simply a knowing that this is what is meant to be. 

Lets’ take a step back and consider how you, me and others,
may have attracted partners in the past

From a feeling of ‘not’ enough’ I long for that person who will love me and support me. I want to feel safe and cherished. I date as many possibilities as I can and my inner urge, has me trying everyone – even if at first glance I’m not ‘feeling’ it. After all, they may be the one. I’m stuck on dating apps, until I feel so despondent and unhappy with myself I jump off for a time. I’m driving myself, striving, to find that person. As a successful woman, maybe you’re a confident business woman or an inspiring manager, perhaps you feel astounded at why you can’t make this area of your life work. Like I used to, you may even feel an inner terror that you’ll never be able to nail this and have stopped trusting yourself.  I reached a point where I had to admit, my own best efforts kept me in codependent, unhealthy relationships, no matter how hard I tried to change things. My relationships, were like many others – going from love, openness, caring, to habitual patterns of friction, where I was holding back what I really wanted to say to keep the relationship functional. 

Ladies, we can do better.

Yes, we could keep attending workshops, reading self help books, trying different strategies. But seriously, how much time have you got? Running your relationships through your head, will end up in the same place, as it fosters codependency and prevents you from getting what you really long for: deep, kind connection and supportive, cherishing love. Breaking the circuit means committing to activating your personal power, so you can feel ‘whole’ and have the courage, intuition and strength of mind not to settle for what turns up. Once your heart is activated through your emotional purification (which is as simple as applying an alternative emotional operating system each time you have a feeling) you cease looking for outside sources to complete you. You already feel pretty darn good and know in your heart of hearts, that feeling is not worth sacrificing for just any old Tom, Dick or Jane. The divine feminine in you is beaming out, attracting what you need and placing you in the perfect place to receive more of what you’ve got going on. Because this is how nature works – it’s in constant expansion, moving towards greater harmony. 

From my authentic self, I understand the process of being in relationship is far more important than the outcome of having a relationship. In this state, I don’t stop being who I am to make sure my relationship lasts. Rather I BE everything I am from the get go, so my partner has the opportunity to truly know me and I get to express all of me – which actually feels like a lot more love.  I am emotionally present for myself and they, because they were attracted to me, are able to feel that presence in themselves. We are actually in ‘true’ relationship with each other. We are not in a dynamic of relationship in which both of us are trying madly to get our inner needs met by the other and control the relationship as it is. In these dynamics, connection is lost, because I’m not connected to my true self. If I was, I wouldn’t experience reaction, I’d feel whole and satisfied with whatever is showing up in this moment. 

How do you attract the ‘right’ relationship?

Come into right relationship with yourself first. Understand how to lay the foundations that are critical for building co-creative relationships, that way you won’t get sucked into codependent dynamics and be lead you away from your true self. The way I support others to do this, is by using a 3 step blueprint that activates heart power. 

  1. Reduce / remove emotional pain and past hurts, by identifying codependency and implementing an alternative emotional operating system that helps you to process feelings and use them to empower and foster deeper connection in your relationships.  This step demonstrates there is another way to be in relationship (beyond codependency) as well as therapeutically addressing the ‘unconscious’ wound driving behaviour. I couldn’t tell you the number of my clients that have remarked “I never knew there was another way …” it’s such a light bulb moment when you clearly see it’s not about the relationship – it’s about the way you’re in relationship! 
  2. Activate your heart power to correct your course, so that you can flip out of your head and adopt behaviors that move you towards your true self, instead of further away from it. 
  3. Prevent the ‘separation’ inside that manifests outwards as codependant behaviors and apply new strategies for action that amplify authentic heart energy in your life. This is making what you want strong and unshakeable, so it overpowers what no longer serves you. 

If you focus on you and get the relationship right with yourself, the emerging process will bring your perfect partner to you. In fact, this is a matter of universal urgency, because the more couples that are in their right relationship, the greater the ‘pure’ love generated on this planet. Yes, you have to trust life, but by feeling the authentic power of your heart, life becomes so much easier, fulfilling and more joyful, so very soon not settling, will become your personal preference. Why would you sacrifice your inner peace and calm unless it’s right? I’d prefer to stay single. 

I believe I have a responsibility NOT to accept a partner who is not quite ‘right’. It’s my job to wait and become the best ‘me’ I can be until life connects me to that person whose presence in my life will add to the whole. That person, who, when we connect, generates more love, more creativity, more abundance, innovation and personal power for me, for them and everyone around us. Perhaps it will be similar to when Neo met Trinity in the Matrix Resurrection. Their fingers touched, light exploded and the world changed. Probably not, but who knows?

What I do know, is accepting a relationship in which I filter parts of myself to stay in that relationship, does not serve me or them. So what do you think? Are you ready to put yourself ‘right’ to attract that ‘right’ relationship? I hope so, because your natural state, your true self, is a unique gift to the world. Human evolution needs authenticity and substance – that’s what heart truly is. 

Sending love,


Lisa Jayne is The Relationship Breakthrough Specialist, delivering private consultations to activate women’s hearts so they can flip out of their heads and create deeply connected, emotionally present relationships. She offers a free 30 minute collaboration call, so you can cocreate a path to ‘right’ relationship and you can schedule your session here. Follow her on Instagram

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