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These 2 fresh ideas might just change your world

I’ve started writing my next book. I’d love to share the opening scene with you…

My intention is to deliver 2 big ideas to you which I hope will change your life. I will be as direct as I can and in doing so, apologise if the content is confronting, a little direct or perhaps too explicit – which may happen in the process of telling a good story!

The first idea is being curious about the TRUTH.

In every incident, upset, hurt, betrayal many of us spend our energy fighting the person involved, the situation that caused our pain. The truth is, that many of us are unaware that there is an ‘emotional’ self and this is responsible for our pain. I was never taught to seek it out and deal with THAT. I spent many years fighting the good fight. Fighting for more money, more support, more respect, to be heard, to be the best, to be valued. My life represented this and was peppered with little conflicts, ill feelings, anxieties and arguments.  Had I known I was looking in the wrong place for a resolution, I would have spared myself time, frustration and more importantly my self-esteem.

I think I’m upset because I do more than partner around the house. I’m always noticing things, picking up, planning the outings, waiting for them to help or just show up. The truth is, it’s not about my partner. I FEEL unseen, unheard, unsupported, not valued… it’s these feelings that cause my pain. And it’s in resolving these feelings that I can feel FREE and empowered. Then I can choose what to do about the situation I am in.

I want more sex, my partner seems to prefer to do other things and holds back on coming to bed with me. The truth is, it’s not about sex – I feel loved when I’m having sex. I experience intimacy and closeness through sex. I have never been taught any other way to meet those emotional needs. The truth is, this is about me feeling a lack of emotional intimacy. I feel unloved, unimportant and not valued when my partner doesn’t want to engage in sex. When I understand and resolve these feelings, the dynamic changes between my partner and I. Sometimes I enjoy more sex as a result and if I don’t, I have the clarity to do something about the situation, in an healthy and empowering way,

I’m suggesting, when you look in the right place for your solutions, you will find your true self, because you are removing the obstacles in the way of connecting to your true self. After I resolve my emotional part in it, I can approach the person or incident, without reaction. I can remain calm and open to the growth and opportunity within the situation. I create more connection and harmony within myself (and as it happens that flows onto others). I am expanding love, care and support for myself, because I am finally showing up for myself. I am here for me. This one idea, put into practice has the capacity to change your world.

The second idea

I’m excited to deliver, is that living naturally in a world where there are an infinite number of relationships can work really well, if we shift the WAY we are in relationship. With a fresh approach to the way I interact with others, I’ve found I naturally create more connection in my environments. I’m able to address situations that interrupt the ongoing harmony of my relationships immediately, with the right* thoughts, actions and words to create an expansion of that relationship. I’ve noticed this creates a heightened sense of belonging, desire to give back and naturally arising joy. Once upon a time I would have been too scared and felt incapable of taking such action. I discovered the fear itself was the obstacle in the way of my happiness. Keeping the peace, in the end, created chaos.

I’ve seen how people are compassionate, kind, compelled to protect, help and make things right – WE are amazing, right? This compulsion leads to group formations, movements and attitudes and for a time, the common cause keeps it all together. It’s generally not long though, when goodwill is undermined by the emotional selves of individuals. I’m doing more than them, they are taking advantage, I don’t like the way they speak to me, she is ‘up herself’, he said, she said, they said … a litany of words and feelings that fuel resentment and bitterness. Sometimes it’s one rotten apple, sometimes it’s a virus that spreads to many. Humans are not stupid. We have lots of information on how to lead, building community, tools for connection. Why then, do these dynamics still impact families and groups? If I can invite you to reflect back on the previous big idea, I’d like to suggest, that it’s in changing our ‘lifestyle’, so we habitually look towards the truth first. In doing so, I am able to resolve the separation that results between myself and others, because I’m healing the separation inside myself. This enables me to be AUTHENTIC, in all my relationships. This is true freedom.

2 big ideas. Neither of them require anyone else except you. Neither of them require any money, equipment or high tech tools. What’s needed right now, is your willingness, courage and time to apply the truth to your everyday life.

WARNING> If you don’t like change; if you would prefer your life to stay as it is, please read no further. From here on in, I am working on the assumption you are ready to shift from your head to your heart and feel ALIVE as your true self. You will have to apply some effort, until it becomes effortless, because being who you truly IS effortless. You will be required to drop behaviours and patterns that have served a purpose for your ego for many years, which may generate fear, but know, many have done this before you and survived. They have also reported the freedom they now feel has transformed their lives. And. You are not alone. We are doing this together, you have a guide, you have your incredible heart and we have each other.

You can read the rest, once the book is written. I’m working on it now… sorry for the suspense! 

Sending love, Lisa x

Lisa Jayne offers classes, personal support and presentations that foster emotional empowerment and relationship harmony. Her new book, A.L.I.V.E. will be available by the end of 2024 and you can participate in the journey or pre-order your copy here. 

*Here I have used ‘right’ as a synonym for ‘what will set you free’ as opposed to right or wrong.

 

 

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